And Why...There's one thing that we can't all cease control of is to control Time. No matter how much you can do to think about changing it, or how hard you want to make someone see or feel important to you, you have only yourself in existence to feel sorrowful for. And when you die, you're the only one who's dying for yourself, not for someone in terms of reasoning. Thus proving how independent we truly really all are... | |
A Cursed Sorrowful Existence
So if I died today, who would care? Who would cry? Who would wish me back to tell me that my existence meant something to them just because I symbolize like hell to get points straight across everyday only to find that it was worth nothing but false precepts that only push my trust down the last straw. I'm not sorry that I've ever held feelings for someone, or something. I'm just sorry that the time spent was wasted when I could've been looking into another preferable person and perhaps then I would've felt better about myself. My only hope is, if the next person in my life will actually see me for who I am, as they will do the same. No matter how dark my given tastes must be, or how much I cling to devastating tragedies, the thing that bothers me is these are tragedies that are happening before me. I can't change that. I can only feel guilty and to why I believe that that's normal is because this is real-life. I have to deal with everyday and the amount of time spent dwelling on it is all I can do. Just embrace & encounter further losses and hope those who rot in their shells are merely just tools to bear no knowledge from until you've become away from being one yourself. The fact that I'm now spotting this, I suppose I have conquered a feeling of nervousness, thus making me more prominent than I realize to figure out an entire meaning that I just don't given a fuck anymore to what happens to me. I cried and had my feelings broken for far too long, thus, I've turned to alcohol as of now to rot out my shame, but the sad part is, who am I bearing shame to? To myself? Perhaps. I'm sorry to those who read this post, but I'm merely just a number in life. I may have talent. I may have potential & features to thrive for the purpose, but the saddest thing is having to find someone who fails in comparison as you want them to be seen, just to have Truth set among all the others and be happy for having that reason, whereas, people are choosing to find just to find. They're not actually seeking, just grabbing what's in front of them which is no wonder to why they're more lost before you can make them out to being known for something. But for me, I'm all what's left of my past, or it's what's coming to now. Nobody can sentimentally make me happy. It's a bummer, but it's the truth. Otherwise, I would've had something years ago before I started College, and upon realizing up to this point, I'm regretting ever doing something with my education, knowing that all I've lost had really been taken away from me by the seas of Time, not by individuals that want to tick me off, day by day. And quite honestly, for what I've told person(s) before, I take back, for there's no reason to justify someone's existence who rejects salvation.