I value most Arts. For one thing, I determine Music as a defining means to any suitable preference. For most cases, people like to listen to their own Genre of music or just love Country due to their inspiration to someday playing out a job as a Truck Driver, diving into a favorable melody, or listening to something while visualizing someplace new. For me, I listen to practically almost anything. I don't have a disliking preference for anything. Despite how some songs might sound bad, or some bands are not likable, I literally listen to just about anything.
Part of the Past
Part of the Present
Part of Future
I guess it's all what really does happen in my life. I lose, gain, then lose again. I sometimes believe I'm grasping the real meaning, but find no meaning but to live, but am told to learn, research, and stay clear of past inflections, but worry about The Future and serve. That's how I become something, day-by-day, not wanting to be happy? My thoughts provoke me despite how right or wrong I try to become. Then when I am in that position, something negative happens. Like that of a curse. I either lose a family member, lose a friendship to some awful thing, or timing, or try to cherish something that was never there to begin with. Then my mood changes negatively. Either Despite my love for Art and Music, even Video Gaming, I'm realizing that I'm verbally alone in this world. I look to my shoulder for every other time I look over my shoulder, there's nothing there to play or watch a movie with me, not even a Horror Movie. I wish so much as to watch even a horror movie with somebody who appreciates them, and everytime I bring-up the relevant genre to something, they act like I'm crazy, because their minds can't take what I see. Even though I see it as a genre like any other, people look at me like it's just pure violence that pushes things down the scenario. The other problem is that those people you do think that would be there to do something with you who match the same interests aren't even aware of how much you're wishing they could be near you. Am I really invisible to some of these people? I can understand that they have their own endeavors, but despite how selfish I believe I am at grasping the thought of Loneliness, I look to religion to pray that my intentions may someday be recognized. Sadly...
I honestly have nobody. The family I had, the brothers I live with, the friends I have, they're always doing their own thing. Me? I want something, but can never grasp. Having a friendship alone just isn't what I want. I want something MORE than that, but HOW!? Is it because I'm looking in the wrong places? Why can't people understand the significance of somebody's well-being? Does such a person who cherishes you more than anyone even exist? Am I really a Man, or something else?
Let's be honest, I'm having depressing thoughts. Thoughts I know should be addressed carefully, but the part that bothers me is that nobody among me, to me, would really understand. I thought clearly that I had the answer, but despite the meaning I grasp, I'm always in the wrong point in-time and can't seem to understand why. I wait, something happens, then I lose it. No matter how lost I truly feel, despite knowing there's a verdict, there are limitations to practically everything. It hurts. ALOT. I don't quite understand. Feelings of power, feelings of rage, feelings of sadness, feelings of lust, are all caused by something inside us all. Like how conquering your fears is one thing, but honestly, I'm just a coward in it of itself if it weren't for what got me to become who I am today. It's nice to have these ideas that people are there for you, just as the people you want to be there for you should be there, but when you find out they're not and they deny you, it drives to think differently no matter how promising it should've been. Quite Honestly...I don't know what I really want. I've reached a point where I feel like giving up. I've been told that if it doesn't work out in the Present, the person will obviously be worth something in the Future, that I know of, but as a major Analytical Thinker, but I'm not quite sure why what I knew at first isn't being realized NOW. What do I not have that everyone else has? Is it their fates that overlap my own? Is Fate rebelling against me? Does realization mean anything? Are my Prayers being denied? What if I'm not seeing that the strength to achieve isn't quite all it should be? Then someone thinks he/she has the power next to turn you around. It hurts, because I don't know those answers well-enough to determine where I should go if tragedy befalls you every way, anyway.
Am I really meant to disappear? Is that what life is telling me? To make a choice that's best for everybody even to those you'll never get a chance to meet again face-to-face, no matter how much you wanted to make things happen correctly? If the memory keeps us from driving people apart, to cherish it and forgive, then why keep it if they do so anyway to you? If it weren't the people I met in the past, I wouldn't be here today, but at the same time, those people that pushed me this far, despite how treacherous things played-out, I still wanted something of it, despite the value I neglected or treasured. I was still young and didn't quite know everything. So...why? Why belong to some meaning that's lost if another wants to prove necessary? Am I being told to go back to where I belong in real-Time or am I being subjected to give-up, and simply let-go of dignity that proved no meaning to begin with? What does this all mean...
To How I See MephilesMephiles is my fan-favorite video game villain of mine. Despite his apperance in such a bad game, his motives and powers seemed like an interest to me that I figured had best described me for what I had been going through back in High School. Ultimately, I began to identify my personality under multiple personas, hoping I could reach a true meaning someday. Time became my obsession including the element we can all guess is in fact: Darkness. Among website communities, I began to forge my appearance to many under my nicknaming myself under the screename Emperor Mephiles. I knew that everything has a dark side, as for being apart of society and not knowing how society would truly matter to me, as I often was seen to having trust issues and still do today, so, I used the character's background to forge my own. As villainous as he can be, not only seen as the game's psychotic main and villain besides having seen Sonic's usual undertaking nemesis, Doctor Eggman, I figured if I can one-day turn myself to the darkness, unaware of religion at the time, I could bend it to become something one day...
Upon certain variances to where I need only to categorize my Skills into several or maybe even a few categories, I ensure the efficiency it takes to have my Resume looked at is to compile less amounts of information. I look to where my expertise stands. Am I determining my skills off of what I can do, or what I've done? My solution is to first list power statements, figuring out terms that best describe the power statement, then, once the term is achieved, I simply locate a proper Synonym for it, then add them to general categories. Because Job Interviews are attained through excellent communication, I need to be explanatory, which is why I determine my skills into each of the following categories: Talent Skills, Business Skills, People Skills, Technical Skills (Technological).
Understand ThisCorporations are a Business. Anything out there that isn't a household is a Business. To how you wish to go about finding your business, attend networking events, job employment fairs, attend workshops, do not clutter your Resume, implement effective strategy and explain for the good intentions to why you really want to be something, understand your goals, and don't feel too hard on yourself. Everyone is not you. They are there to help you. Remember, not everyone will come to understand you. Some will. Do not feel shattered if one person cannot come to understand you, even if that somebody is a person is somebody that care deeply for. There are more people out there that will come to understand your approach better as it can only be shown if you make it become understandable!
I see Personification as a personal skill for my own Portfolio environment. Not something I would list on Resumes unless I needed to explain things better if I was asked to describe additional skills more, but I see it as an attribution of personal nature over human characteristics to something nonhuman, or the representation of an abstract quality human form. I intentionally tend to use Personification as a way of representing myself into three different time-splitting forms. Each consisting of Past, Present, and Future. The concept is truthfully abstract, for explanation only comes so far as to get something out as a Businessman would tend to summarize. It's quality that most often gets to me. Describing myself as I am told, "not everyone truly knows you," so I think of life as a diplomacy, a contradiction of itself to where we are trying to place ourselves into something greater as we extend our views and potential to refining that of the human spirit. It's a concept, the very thing that represents me is my image to the world, not to an individual, but at the same time, I'm still determined to show them meaning.
Business Savvy is a term, also a skill that I highly make use out of over most of my other skills that I currently inherit. It is an essential skill fit for a descriptive field, which my expertise revolves around Web Design, this skill works to identify those who are able to understand business challenges, comprehend trends & options. This basically means that I am well-suited to play at the top of my game to understand business tasks. A feeling of declaration. Am I a fortified leader? Do I display good communication to my employeers? Are percentage rates for the good of company going exceedingly well? Can I determine intentions and display discernment for the good of business potency?
Given my concentrated journey of exploring interests and to what rightfully matters, I'm quite puzzled as to what fashion I can really truly say for sure that I'm most likely involved the most in. For certain, I consider myself a Goth over a plentiful number of reasons. For sure, I am a video gamer. I like villainy more than I like heroes due to ideal thoughts that society does construct much how a villain is determined to follow his/her own destiny. I also like plenty of 'Dark' things and 'Horror-specifics.' I honestly consider myself now as an intentional-walking nightmare. I consider myself mostly of being a Goth due to the constraining theory that I am too dark--as can be. I believe that everyone does have a dark side, as it is trying to get out, but understanding its correspondence, it matters to me because it fortifies me to become something different if I choose to use it only for myself to achieve a proper place into my life, although I intentionally 'may' hurt people, it's entirely not of my fault. It's just the way I am.
Is it because I'm either strong as I can imagine, or weak at the same time? As I figure much what lies beyond the end of one's days, I can only think clearly that suicide isn't surreal. If society tells me that it's all on one woman, one man, then death is his/her own reason or cause to escape, not on one's fault. If we are to reach at a certain point in time and someday to where a person's death is best forgotten and not nearly remembered as some might say as if it were just yesterday. So tell me, to how I feel on my views about death, does it make society a group of anti-bodies who are trying to stop you from doing your chores, or are we just doomed to repeat the same courses until we fall apart? Is there really something that awaits upon the outskirts of Time? Can Light and Darkness being melded as one if Time is considered an Element? Is it even possible to consider Time a fashion of itself? If reincarnation is possible, would that mean that I am to be reborn again, and again, until I can somehow get it right? And even if that's true, if I would be reborn and am going to lose everything anyway, am I truly dead? Are we destined to meet the very same souls over and over again?
My full name is Julian Daniel Glidden, also a video gamer. I currently reside in Ontario, California, living with three older-aged brothers in a two-story household. Graduated in 2008 at Colony High in a year I should not have graduated in. Being born in 1989, having been held back from my Mother who had mistakenly kept me behind in Kindergarden to repeat another year, I have felt sadness in her passing in Middle School when she had ultimately passed from Lung Cancer in the 7th Grade, only to leave High School, having lost the means to go on. Attended Chaffey College in hopes to finding myself once again, I have been shrouded from nothing but pure gossip, but having become a Freelance Web Designer in my valiant efforts to finding something, I attend a Christian Church on Sundays to not only attend and help out at to gain experience. Thus, after losing my father, and meaning of recent. My life sinks into darkness, realizing that I do have endeavors. Currently drive a 2008 Toyota Camry, now finding work after countless efforts of searching, I begin to think that I really am a hopeless romantic who believes he has done things on the wrongest of possible times who now turns to Time as a method to fixing his own reality.
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June 2016
Ectropion Web DesignerJulian Glidden LibraDiscliamer:
I am no God. I am not trying to be. I have come across many supernatural experiences in my life, and for one-thing, I am a Christian, but understand, I do not wish harm on anyone or further knowledge that I endeavor, for my choice to Research is simply to approach Truth in effort to restore the Gospel. Any distortions of truths can proclaim that False Gods & Angels are Demons in disguise, however, my assumptions are that they are otherworldly in the flesh of Man, bearing no distinct Truths, except by the Fruits they preserve themselves to be. I however do not adorn to any activity in any reasoning whatsoever to boycott or mount aggression onto others through Criticism, but I seek Knowledge to embrace thought onto Christ, providing as best I can to know full-hand that he is indeed my Lord and Savior. I seek only to inform, blog about what's on the Mind other than what I spiritually can place amongst what I may witness due to my own experiences in real-time that have led me to tell about anything ascertainable that has led me to post about what I believe in, to what is happening, not prior to what others believe in as a specific religious Group or Church; not for those should one be seen as for any selfish gain prior to promotion, but those who seek the Truth also. It is about Faith, and my Research prior to the conscientiousness of understanding Christ and looking beyond the boundaries prior to what many Biblical Worksmen of today are trying to block out that holds reasoning to any foreseeable Truths as far as to what's not adhered to in this current reach in Society. Upon this Almanac, it serves as an Almanac Source prior to establishing a means to the Soul, towards the Understanding of the Heart, not of labeling and understanding Internal Organs, but of understanding Characteristics and further spiritual attributes that pertain to who we see ourselves as in Society. |