I sometimes believe I'm grasping the real meaning, but find no meaning but to live, but am told to learn, research, and stay clear of past inflections, but worry about The Future and serve. That's how I become something, day-by-day, not wanting to be happy?
The other problem is that those people you do think that would be there to do something with you who match the same interests aren't even aware of how much you're wishing they could be near you. Am I really invisible to some of these people? I can understand that they have their own endeavors, but despite how selfish I believe I am at grasping the thought of Loneliness, I look to religion to pray that my intentions may someday be recognized.
I honestly have nobody. The family I had, the brothers I live with, the friends I have, they're always doing their own thing. Me? I want something, but can never grasp. Having a friendship alone just isn't what I want. I want something MORE than that, but HOW!? Is it because I'm looking in the wrong places? Why can't people understand the significance of somebody's well-being? Does such a person who cherishes you more than anyone even exist? Am I really a Man, or something else?